I love food. Like, I REALLY love it… I mean, I even enjoy aeroplane and hospital food, for fuck’s sake… As lovely as it is, this beautiful approach to fearlessly trying new foods doesn’t mean I don’t have issues with food, or the body that consumes it. Far fucking from it, actually. I’ve struggled with it pretty much all my life.
When I go to a restaurant, it’s usually because; a) I can’t be arsed to cook, b) my partner can’t be arsed to cook and is offering to pay, or c) I want to eat a fuck tonne of lush food. I don’t normally expect French Fred, the maître D from “First Dates”, to tell me that I need to jog for 45mins because I ate a cheeseburger. But I just watched a TV show where this exact thing happened.
Today I watched the BBC 2 Horizon documentary “The Restaurant That Burns Off Calories” – and man, do I have some views to share with you!
Sometimes you just need to ask yourself if you’re hungry or just bored. Environmental boredom often can be an easy fix. But not always. Yes, you may be able to distract yourself for half hour by opening a book or having a quick shag, but after the novelty of change has worn off the snacks are still calling to you… “Dominique, come eat us, our doughnut-goodness is exactly what will cure your agitation”. Noisy fucking baked goods.
At first, I contemplated setting up a 12-step programme… “hello everyone, my name is Dominique and I can’t leave Chocolate Digestives alone”. But then I figured that it was probably quicker to just tell you how to stop eating your way through boredom in a blog post. Why do so many of us turn to food when we’re bored, and is there any way to stop it? Or are we doomed to eat our bodyweight in Oreos and Hula Hoops every day we spend in isolation?