About 3 years ago I read a statement about people that changed my entire world…
People are doing the best that they can with the tools that they have available at the time.Neuro-Linguistic Programming Law
Read that again. People are always doing their best. What their best displays itself as is based on upbringing, experiences, knowledge, education, physical resources, social support, mental and physical health, culture… the list is endless. And the list is everything.
If you had the destructive kid’s list you would have smashed that window too. Kevin down the road’s list meant he walked out of his seemingly happy marriage, and you would have too. And yes, it even means that with a terrorist’s list you also would have pressed the detonator.
People are not better or worse than others. They just have different lists. Remember that next time you simply write someone off as a bad person.
Don’t misunderstand me, this doesn’t mean you need to agree with or accept their behaviour. Just understand that they have a different list to yours. That little bit of understanding might just give them the compassionate space to begin to change their behaviour. And at the very worst you’ll just be less angry and stressed at others.
Oh, but don’t think this only applies to other people – you have your very own list too. What “bad” behaviour could you let go of, and explain as you simply doing the best you could with the tools you had available at the time? Maybe you need to show yourself some understanding too?